


Show Me

by pyrokenesis (platformfires)



Category: 12 Monkeys (TV)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Bisexual Character, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-24 15:52:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3774547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platformfires/pseuds/pyrokenesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cole walks in on Ramse...taking care of himself. They work through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SinEater_Danyi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinEater_Danyi/gifts).



> From a prompt on tumblr that @sineater_danyi alerted me to. James Cole is asexual and has recently entered a romantic relationship with his long-time, and bisexual, friend, José Ramse. He catches Ramse masturbating and it unsettles him. 
> 
> p.s. I have not forgotten about my incomplete fics (believe me) and I am hoping to have another chapter of Move My Way up very soon. I'm working on it I promise lol

Cole had been working nights all week and had barely spent time with Ramse since they had started dating.  _Dating_ , Cole thought. His stomach tensed at the thought of the word. It had been less than a month and they were still getting used to the whole relationship thing. “Dating” was a word they used loosely – so far they’d been too busy to go out on an actual date. Cole had cut out of work a little early to see his new – his heart fluttered – boyfriend. He was on the bus home and texted Ramse to let him know he was on his way. He smiled as he thought about his partner and the weekend they had planned together.

As he hopped off the bus he checked his phone, there was no reply from Ramse. He frowned and shoved his hands in his pockets. He was probably napping or something.

Cole arrived at their apartment and heard a sound coming from inside. He opened the door cautiously, his keys between his knuckles (a trick Ramse had taught him when they first started living together) and gingerly made his way to the living room. He heard the noise again; it sounded like it was coming from the bedroom. Fuck, was Ramse cheating on him? He swallowed hard and pressed his ear to the door. It was getting louder. Cole panicked and opened the door quietly.

“Fuck,” Ramse groaned.

Cole’s eyes went wide and he bit his lip when he saw. Ramse was…masturbating? He turned to leave when he heard him say something else.

“Cole,” he whispered. His eyes were squeezed shut and his pants around his knees. His breathing was getting heavier and his moans louder, every now and then he’d breathe his name. Cole was frozen in the doorway. He wasn’t as experienced as Ramse was in this area and had barely even dated anyone before. He noticed Ramse’s hips lifting off the bed and back down again. His breathing was loud and heavy and he kept biting his lower lip. The sounds grew louder until-

“Cooo-ohh-le,” he groaned loudly. Cole looked away and frowned. He knew what _that_ meant.

Cole waited while Ramse came down from his high, his breathing starting to level out. He was still in shock – partly because this wasn’t at all what he was expecting –Ramse had said his name. Did he think of him like that? Cole had never had those feelings for anyone; they both knew this going into the relationship. He’d identified as asexual ever since he could remember. Cole hadn’t considered that Ramse thought about him in  _that_ way. He felt strange. Did he feel that way about Ramse? He wasn’t sure. He was frozen to the spot thinking about what he had just witnessed and what it could mean for them.

“Cole,” Ramse exclaimed. Cole’s eyes shot over to his boyfriend who was now staring at him in horror.

He  pulled his pants up quickly and practically jumped from the bed, rushing over to Cole; he was still glued to the spot in complete disbelief.

“Fuck, Cole,” He gasped. “I’m sorry. I was jus-“

“It’s fine,” Cole muttered, frowning. His face was burning up; he probably looked like a tomato. He cleared his throat and turned quickly to exit the room, closing the door gently behind him. Ramse raised his hand to try to stop him but it was too late. His shoulders fell and he rubbed his forehead anxiously.

“Shit,” He spat.


	2. Chapter 2

Cole paced up and down in the kitchen. He shouldn’t have left like that. He hoped Ramse might’ve followed after him. They needed to talk about this, he knew. Cole took a deep breath, grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He downed the whole thing in one go. Gasping, he turned to see Ramse in the doorway and jumped. He had a smirk plastered on his face and his arms crossed over chest. He wasn’t even embarrassed about Cole interrupting him.

“So did you see something you liked?” Ramse teased.

Cole frowned and turned away again. Ramse laughed quietly.

“It’s okay,” he said. Cole could feel him getting closer and before he knew it Ramse had his arms around his waist and was resting his head on his shoulder. Cole wanted to jump out of his skin and leave his body. He flinched at his partner’s touch and clenched his fists. His whole body was crawling as he replayed it in his head.

Ramse pulled away and bit his lip. Cole shook his head and sighed.

“We can talk about it if you want to,” Ramse shrugged.

“Can we just,” Cole choked. “Not right now,” he said quietly.

Ramse nodded. “Sure,” he smiled. Cole turned to face him again and smiled weakly. “You’re not gonna make me sleep on the couch are you?”

Cole smirked and rolled his eyes as Ramse laughed again.

“Sorry,” he chuckled.

Cole couldn’t help but smile. Ramse always knew how to make him feel better.


	3. Chapter 3

He’d been quiet all evening. Ramse had refrained from touching him, which was good, but he felt guilty. He couldn’t give Ramse what he obviously needed.

They were watching Kitchen Nightmares from opposite ends of the sofa. Ramse kept glancing at Cole who was noticably uncomfortable. This was usually the highlight of their week and yet he couldn’t get into it at all. He kept looking at his hands and biting his lip; he couldn’t sit still.

Halfway through an episode he got up and left without any explanation. Like a shot, Ramse hit pause on the TV. He sighed and rested his head against the back of the sofa. He hated seeing Cole like this. He wanted so much for this whole thing to work out between them. It hadn’t even been a month. They’d been roommates for over a year now and he didn’t want to lose Cole. There had to be a solution somewhere.

After a few minutes Ramse decided to check on his partner. He knew Cole sometimes needed his space but he couldn’t sit around and let him deal with this alone. Seeing him had obviously triggered something in him and they needed to talk about it before it built up too much.

He wasn’t in the kitchen, the bedroom was empty. The only other place was the bathroom. He paused for a second before knocking and considered walking away. _No,_ he thought. He took a deep breath and knocked four times.

“Cole,” he called.

There was no reply.

“Cole,” he repeated. “Come out, we gotta talk about this.”

“I’m coming in,” he yelled.

Suddenly, “No,” Cole shouted back. There was shuffling and a quiet crash, something falling on the floor. Cole cursed and then the door was open. Cole was shaking and his lips were red from chewing them so much.

“I hate seeing you like this, man,” Ramse said sincerely. Cole frowned.

“Sorry,” he stammered. He was sweating now and he felt nauseous.

“No,” Ramse said quickly. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. You've done nothing wrong. Let’s get you cleaned up and we’ll talk about this.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Cole in such a state. They’d been friends as long as they could remember but only last year did they start living together. They’d had their ups and downs but worked through everything together. Their relationship was constantly changing and Ramse would be damned if he let either one of them give up.

Cole looked down and nodded.

“Take a shower, get some clean clothes on,” he instructed. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

Ramse took a step closer. Cole noticed he was looking at his lips. “Can I?”

He paused for a second before smiling weakly and nodding. Ramse pressed their lips together gently. Cole leaned in, fighting back, when Ramse pulled away. Cole smirked.

“Take a shower, you look like shit,” Ramse teased. He turned to leave and closed the door behind him.

“Take a look in the mirror,” Cole called. He heard him laugh followed by a muffled, “asshole.”

Cole smiled. He didn’t know how he’d got so lucky; Ramse had always been there for him even when he didn’t deserve him; they’d been through everything together and this was just another bump in the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, that's it for this evening. I'll pick this up again tomorrow and hopefully get another of MMW up!
> 
> Also, I'm gonna be posting drabbles and bits over at my 12 Monkeys tumblr which is splinterboy.tumblr.com so feel free to follow if you want to!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick update. the next chapter is gonna be loads of talking. it's gonna be good and i'm really excited to post it :D

Cole definitely felt better for taking a shower; he was thinking much more clearly now. He was feeling a little conscious of himself just in a towel but he didn’t want to put his old clothes back on. Ramse was right, he’d feel better if he had clean ones on.

“Ramse,” He called through the door. No response. “Ramse, you there?” He said louder. _So much for “I’m here if you need me”_ he thought.

He took a deep breath and unlocked the door. There wasn’t any indication of any movement. Hopefully Ramse hadn’t fallen asleep against the door again. Cautiously he opened the door and poked his head around. There was no sign of him anywhere. He frowned and slowly made his way into the hallway. He could hear the faint sound of the TV in the living room. Their bedroom wasn’t far and he could probably make it there undetected. He’d really have to get a robe or something.

Cole just managed to make it to the bathroom without being seen. His whole body had been crawling all evening and he was feeling uncomfortable in his skin; he didn’t want Ramse to look at him. Without being too self-confident, he didn’t want the sight of him to increase his sex drive.

He knew Ramse was sexually active. Hell, for a short while there wasn’t a day that passed without him being out all night or bringing someone home with him. Cole dried himself off quickly and threw on the only clean clothes he had. He really needed to do some laundry this week.

He jumped as he heard a knock on the door.

“Don’t come in,” he shouted quickly. He heard laughing as he pulled on some sweatpants and frowned. He was already embarrassed about this whole thing and Ramse being so amused made him feel even worse.

“Okay,” he called. The door opened slowly, Ramse was there grinning.

“Hope I didn’t miss out on anything,” He teased. Cole fidgeted and look at his hands. Ramse’s smile fell and he swallowed. “Sorry,” he mumbled. Cole looked up at him and smiled awkwardly.

“So, are you ready to talk about it?” He asked quietly.

Cole took a deep breath and nodded weakly. Ramse wasn’t entirely convinced but if it took all night, well, so be it.

*

They sat down on the couch, Cole opting to leave a space between them. He was silent for a while; he didn’t know where to start. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the whole thing. Was he sexually attracted to Ramse? Did he enjoy what he saw? There were so many questions and he had so few answers. He could feel Ramse’s eyes on him. What should he say? Should he start? Should he wait for Ramse to say something? He hadn’t had this talk before. In fact, this was the first serious romantic relationship he’d been in. He’d dated a couple of people in college but that’s all it was. The relationships never lasted long and he always felt guilty for not wanting the sexual part of it. Since then he’d become more comfortable being single and accepting in his sexuality. Now, though, this has turned all of that upside down. His breathing was starting to get heavier and there was a lump in his throat. He swallowed hard.

“I need some air,” he mumbled.

“Wanna take a walk?”

Cole nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna do one more chapter of this and see where how it ends. I'm really enjoying writing Asexual Cole so this won't be the last we see of him (I've always headcanoned him as ace and grayro anyway). 
> 
> enjoy!

The sun was setting and the sky was a beautiful navy blue. It had been a long time since they’d done this. Cole had always been prone to bad anxiety and when they were both in college Ramse would often wake to find Cole’s bed empty. Walking at night calmed him down. He loved the stars and how quiet it was; the only noise coming from the occasional car passing by. Growing up in the city, he didn’t have the chance to go out as a kid for the simple fact it just wasn’t safe. As much as he sometimes hated to admit it; he felt safer with Ramse by his side. He appreciated time alone every now and again but when he was with Ramse it was just...different.

They were making their way to the park, hands shoved in their pockets and 3 jackets on. It was the end of April but the nights were still fairly cold. Neither of them said a lot for a while.

“So,” Ramse started eventually.

Cole let out a breath of relief. He’d been tense the whole time not knowing where to start. He kept looking up to admire the stars that kept appearing as the sky grew darker and tried to distract himself.

“So,” he said quietly.

“When you saw me...” Ramse started. He paused for a second. They needed to have this talk. It wasn’t something either of them had really considered up until this point but Cole’s apparent repulsion to anything sexual was an issue that they both needed to talk about.

Cole took a deep breath.

“It was...strange. I guess-” he paused and sighed. “I guess I never really thought of _you_ that way. It never occurred to me that you might feel that way...about...well...me,” he shrugged.

They arrived at the park and found a bench to sit on. There was a bite in the air and Cole shivered a little. Ramse edged closer to him, the heat from their bodies would keep them warmer if they sat closer, he told himself.

“You know me,” Cole laughed awkwardly. “I’ve never had, well, sexual-” his voice cracked a little and he cleared his throat. Ramse smirked. “-feelings about anyone. Sometimes I forget that it’s not the same for everyone else.”

“I mean,” Ramse shrugged. “I know you. I know...that. I just didn’t know it bothered you that much.”

Their shoulders kept brushing together and Cole shuffled closer to his partner, linking their arms. He rested his head on Ramse’s shoulder. Ramse felt warmness flood through his chest. Both of them wanted so badly for this to work out.

“Until now it’s always been other people,” Cole said. “You were thinking about me...like that,” he gestured. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s flattering,” he joked, trying to ease the tension. Ramse laughed. “It was just kind of a shock for me. We’ve only done romantic stuff until this point.”

Ramse nodded. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about Cole a few times when he was masturbating; there were even a couple of times before they started actually going out.

“So does it bother you? That I think of you that way?” Ramse asked quietly. “I can stop-“

“No,” Cole interrupted. He sat up straight and shifted to face his other. “It’s not that. I don’t know what it is. That’s why it’s so frustrating,” he growled. “I mean, I don’t know if I feel that way about you. I don’t think I do, but it’s not like I didn’t, uh, enjoy it,” he frowned, embarrassed. Ramse raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Oh shut up,” Cole laughed. “You know what I mean. It’s just...weird for me.”

Ramse bit his lip.

“Is it something you’d want to pursue?” He asked. Selfishly, he hoped Cole would say yes. There were times when he wanted nothing more to be with Cole like that. To have his skin on Cole’s, sweating, writhing and fighting for breath. He managed to control but, god, he just needed to relieve all that tension. It wasn’t the same doing it himself but it got him by. It saved him being cranky all the time and meant he could appreciate the romantic part of his relationship with Cole.

 Cole took a deep breath and thought. On the one hand, it might be different with Ramse. He didn’t necessarily experience the attraction to him but that didn’t mean he couldn’t take part. If it was on his terms, if he was choosing to see it, perhaps he would enjoy it. He’d never tried before; he hadn’t dated anyone he felt comfortable doing those things with. Ramse, though. He felt safe with him and he could trust him. On the other hand he had no experience in this area. Any thought of it made him uncomfortable.

Ramse stiffened. Cole was really thinking about this. He wanted him to say yes but he knew that the most important thing was that he was comfortable and their relationship had clear boundaries. Cole snuggled closer to him and Ramse took a quick breath. He liked what they had but he just needed a little extra sometimes. He hoped Cole would understand that so they could continue their romantic relationship together. They were intimate in other ways; the intimacy was just in non sexual ways. He was happy and he wanted Cole to be, too.

“Maybe? Someday?” Cole said quietly. “I might, yeah. Just...not right now.”

Ramse nodded.

“It’s just...” Cole started again. “I feel guilty. You obviously need that and I can’t give it to you. I never even considered it. It bothers me that you feel that way about me but I can’t feel that way for you. Even if I did-” Cole took a deep breath. “-take part,” he sighed through gritted teeth. Ramse wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. “-I don’t know. I’ve never done it before.”

Ramse chuckled. “I know,” he smiled. “I don’t want you to feel guilty; there’s nothing wrong with you. I just want you to be comfortable. I want this to work.”

“So what do we do?” Cole asked shyly.

Ramse paused for a long moment. He wasn’t going to force Cole into anything he didn’t want to do, but he didn’t want to close that door completely.

“I guess,” he started. “If you want to take it slow, we can take it slow. If you want to, then we can try it. If not, that’s fine too. Even if you never feel that way, I don’t care.” He squeezed Cole closer to him. “I don’t want to lose what we have; it’s just that sometimes I might need to let off a little steam. I can’t hit an off switch, but I’ll try to make it more careful next time,” He chuckled. “I just want _you,_ Cole.”

Cole blushed. “You’re too good to me,” he whispered. He felt Ramse press a kiss to his forehead and his face started burning up.

“You deserve it,” Ramse said sincerely. Cole laughed. “You know I love you, right?”

“Sap,” Cole teased.  

Ramse laughed.

Cole cleared his throat. “I love you, too,” he said quietly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this over a week ago and forgot to post it.

They sat in silence for a long while. Cole was feeling more relaxed having talked through it all. He watched the colour of the sky change overhead and lost himself in the stars. He felt Ramse’s breathing start to slow. Sleeping under the stars sounded much more romantic than it probably would really be. He shifted and sighed.

“You know,” he said. He felt Ramse jump and smirked. “One of these days, we should go out together.”

Ramse chuckled. “I’m offended, I take you places all the time.” 

Cole laughed and shook his head.

“Giving me free meals at your restaurant while you’re clearing up and stealing leftovers doesn’t count as a date,” he teased.

“Hey,” Ramse exclaimed. “I work hard to make good food for you, I know how much you love it,” he smiled, poking Cole’s stomach.

Cole frowned.

“Sorry,” Ramse chuckled. Cole smiled shyly. “Okay, you want me to take you out?”

“I just think it’d be nice,” Cole said quietly. “It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.”

Ramse thought for a second.

“Does this count as a date?” He asked. Cole snorted. “What! It’s romantic, right? Cuddling under the stars?”

“I don’t think us taking a walk to try to keep me from having a panic attack really counts,” he smirked.

Ramse laughed loudly. “Fine,” he smiled. He took Cole’s hand and intertwined their fingers. “Where do you wanna go?”

“I don’t know,” Cole sighed. “Nothing extravagant.”

“McDonalds?” Ramse joked?

“Shut up,” he mumbled.

“I’m just kidding. You wanna go out? I’ll take you out,” Ramse smiled. “The food might not be as good as mine...”

Cole laughed. Why couldn’t it always be this easy? They had so much fun together. Sure, Cole enjoyed the kissing and the cuddling and everything but _this_. He loved this the most. He rested his head against Ramse’s shoulder and sighed.

 “What time is it,” Ramse yawned.

Cole pulled his sleeve up and checked his watch. “9.30,” he mumbled.

Ramse rested his head on top of Cole’s and closed his eyes again.

“You wanna go home and take a nap,” Cole teased.

“Nah, I’m good,” he muttered.

“You can’t sleep in the park,” Cole chuckled. “C’mon, let’s go home.”

“Fine,” Ramse sighed. He rubbed his eyes, pushed Cole off of him playfully and stood up.

He held out his hand for Cole to take. Cole smiled shyly and did so.

“I’m really glad we talk about this,” Cole said sincerely. He took a deep breath and they started walking, holding hands.

“It’s fine,” Ramse shrugged. “I want you to be happy,” he continued.

Cole bit his lip.

“But only if it’s with me,” Ramse joked. Cole pushed him lightly.

“I mean it, Cole,” He said seriously. “I want this to work. We’ll work this out.”

Cole nodded. “Thanks.”

“Just promise me something,” he squeezed Cole’s hand. “If you’re uncomfortable or anything, just talk to me, man.”

Cole nodded again. “I promise,” he said quietly. Ramse squeezed his hand again.

“I love you, Cole,” he smiled.

Cole laughed quietly. “I love you,” he smiled.

Ramse leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek and he blushed.

“Wanna go for a drink?” He asked.

“I thought you were tired,” Cole laughed.

Ramse shrugged. “I could go for a beer. It can count as our date.”

Cole laughed again and shook his head. “You realize you’ll still owe me an actual date?”

Ramse sighed. “Damn it,” he muttered. Cole smiled. “Fine.”


End file.
